Acceptable Sexism in Sexy Chickens

I didn't think through the Frizzles. I admit that now. 

He calls it pragmatism; I call it whatever it's called when you're an old stick-in-the-mud. He doesn't want any banties (Bantams) because they lay little tiny eggs.  And eggs are the reason we got into this whole franchise. 

We are big egg eaters.  If we are eating scrambled eggs, my family of 4 eats 10. In the school year, Hubs makes eggs for us most mornings. We go through a lot of eggs. People prolly thought we were hoarding with our egg purchases, but we regularly leave HEB with three dozen. 

Bantams are great little chickens and lay eggs, they do. But Papa says, "You might get 10 before they set." They're broody. Well, they are good lil mamas and super cute to boot. 

We can troubleshoot these issues. Use two banty eggs for every standard egg you'd eat; it'd be just like eating a jumbo double-yolker. And if we can find their eggs everyday, then maybe we can keep them from "settin".  

No, the issue I buried deep-down in my consciousness is that Bantams are only sold as straight runs. Meaning, you have an equal chance of getting a rooster or a hen.

If the worst thing that roosters brought to the table is that they don't lay eggs, we could live with a few overconfident freeloaders. Roosters are problematic for their temperment and their, ahem, libido. As Nonnie says, "I don't want no sexy roosters." 

In the June flock, we order 4 assorted Frizzles. Dolly, named for Dolly Parton's signature blond coiffure, is clearly a pretty fluffy, preening white hen. Black Jack-Jack the was bowing up to errbody out of the box, and has the waddle of an adolescent turkey. He's all Rooster, cockadoodling and all. Nekkid, bless his bare little booty, is also a rooster, but he's a sad little specimen. The few feathers he has are also black.  

Then there's Nugget. The jury is still out on the little red Frizzle. The comb is much more pronounced than Dolly, but not quite as big and red as Jack Jack's. We vassilate between pronouns while nature takes its course. Nugget may be a late bloomer, but is certainly a handsome one.  

But, dear reader, if we end up with 75% roosters, I'm never going to hear the end of it.  Never.  Then, I just ordered six more Frizzles. What if I get just the mathematical probability and end up with THREE MORE ROOSTERS? Nonnie ain't gonna take no roosters, sexy or not. How am I gonna have six tiny dictators strutting around driving my girls crazy?  

I'm not eating them. I don't want to give them away to be eaten.  Man, I'm hoping for a mathematical miracle. 

Please be a girl, Nugget. Or at least don't be sexy.